I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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