are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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