C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
