rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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