You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
dude. I can hear the air.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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