SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
