So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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