I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
