i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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