I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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