his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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