carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
