Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
