I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
