dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
