ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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