Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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