i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
