You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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