I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
