I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
