Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize