lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize