evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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