This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
