I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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