we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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