so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
