my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
