Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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