You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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