do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
