hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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