We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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