I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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