Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
