you guys were way drunker than both of me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
