Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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