This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
