im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
