Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
