the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
