you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
