very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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