He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
do nipples grow back?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
