Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.

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(310): View more from California

I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it

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(281): View more from Texas

I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.

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(254): View more from Texas

Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.

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(703): View more from Virginia

She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis

(1-703): View more from Virginia

Every man deserves at least one moment like that

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(734): View more from Michigan

Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.

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(518): View more from New York

hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.

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(253): View more from Washington

Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that

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(410): View more from Maryland

I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows

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