you turned your livingroom into a bong?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
