Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Actions speak louder than pants.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
