i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
