He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
