ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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