look no pants
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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