operation harelip BJ is a go
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
