come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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