somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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