As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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