I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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