so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
