So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
