Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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