was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize