Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
